I’d like to dedicate my 800 posts and 1,000 likes to Mike Parker, for whom I apparently have a creepy, unrelenting infatuation.
I’m killing the competition! I can’t wait until you like 666 of my posts and murder me. My corpse is gonna look awesome on your blog.
And when that day comes, I’ll be sure to cut off your face and start using it as a mask. (You’re next Chase)